Thursday, December 29, 2011

Tired

Dear...How are you doing?
I missed my son...I missed you...
But when i met him...i missed you much more...
I missed us having a dinner...
Just three of us...laughing...
Playing in the bed...watching tv.

The day we were married,
It's the most happiest day in my life...
Even though i know the consequences
I choose you over my family...
I leave everything what my life had behind,
And start a new life with you.

I'm happy because i think finally found someone who will share my life forever,
And we swore each other...for whatever happens,we'll be always together...
But it is not how it used to be now...
Your love for me has gone...
Because i can't find enough money for three of us ?
Then why you said you wanted to be with me getting through all of this,
You realize and you were saying it yourself...
Even it's hard to do,you said,you want to live it as long as it with me.

Is it just some nice words for a happy moment ?
You want to know when is the most sad times of my life ?
It's not when you said you wanted a divorce,
It's when you're going out with some man i didn't even know,
It's when i found out,that you're still in contact with him even it's passed 2 years
It's when you go to a party with everyone i didn't even know.
And i had to find out all that secrets you keep...
At times i put all my heart for you already,at times i trusted you more than myself.

All of this,may be easy for you...
But for me ? i had to take pills to stop my brain from thinking of you.
I had to pretend to everyone that the marriage i'm so proud of before,
Is crumbling into pieces.
What makes this more sad is there's not even a piece of it left to collect and put it back.

I can't stop thinking why you can count me out from your life
Why i can't do the same to you,
Why i am suffering all of this...
How many years i need to bear until i die ?

It's almost a new year...
This time and from now,it'll be without you.
My love for you is eternal,it won't burn off.
I love you.

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