Deep inside me

I don't have anyone left to share with...
You've gone...
It's so hurt to see you go and turned against me like this...
Why..when we're still in our marriage,your mother gets to know where you go...but not me
Why...when we're still in our marriage...you always listen to your mother but never to me...

It's been almost a year now that i can't really see your face...
And it's almost a year...you've been turning cold to me...
I admit ...i didn't make you happy enough...and i didn't have a stable job...
But am i not trying everyday...
I know...i made mistakes...i spent a lot of money for useless things...
But i'm a human too...and you always blame me for that one mistakes until now it's ended..
Isn't our promises were about building our own family,to strive together whatever trouble we face ahead ?
To see our son grew together,to love each other no matter what happens,Poor nor rich ?
And to forgive each other when one of us did mistake ?
But why you forgot all of that...In times when i love you more than anything in this world.
You left me...

But were you ever sit with me and accompany me when i need you the most ?
Do you know all this time i've been missing you,but you never there for me...
You always know when i have a bad mood...but you never understands me..instead,you always getting angry

You know how my heart so hurt now ?
That i can never see you again...i can never talk to you anymore...
And you gonna love someone else...
I don't know how long i can live in this emptiness without you..

I can't forget about you...I only learn how to love you more and more each day...
I didn't learn how to hate you...how to forget you...
It's so hard to get up from my falling now...
You're the only thing i need in this world...i swear.

You know...when i'm so angry at you...i know i say a lot of bad words...
But if you think deeply...that's because i love you too much.....that's because i'm too afraid to lose you...
But you never understood that...you think i'm a person that says bad words because you're nothing...
you're wrong...you're everything to me...that's why i always angry at you even a little mistake you did...
I'm always afraid you forget about me...But all that happens...

Someday...if you got the person who you really wish...
I will smile for your happiness...Even i know my heart will hurt so much...
I will pray for you both...and i will leave this world...

I love you mi...always...and so much...
I'm lost for words now...i can only shed tears and pray...
I missed you..my heart hurt so much for all this reality...
I always wish this is a dream...
And we can go back to times when we're just married...
So i can fix all my fault...
But it's not...it's real that you're now gone...